chasing.the.track

ARGH!!!
you were in a cross-country run....and you were passed in the last 100metres....and came in 9th(as i saw it in the record sheet i think)...wishing you had sprinted earlier. maybe you might start crying while no one is around, and ask "Why?why did this happen??"(even though there's no one to answer you).....and now you are told that you donthaveaplace in the cross-country team because of just ONEDAMNPLACING.....and you had to face that person telling you that and stop the flow of tears waiting to fall....and you know that it was all your fault....you could have but didnt....now only a reserve or counting on a) that you saw the sheet wrongly or b)that someone in front of you pulls out......and you feel like you've let the whole world down...wasted all the 7am trainings...ran a shit race...in your heart of hearts you know you just ran badly and could have gone faster and made 7th/8th place instead of a shit 9th....
its my fault and i know it and have to live with it. all i can say is that this will never happen again (i hope). nearly worst race of my life....excepting the 1500m race 2 yrs ago....i'm only 15 for goodness sake and i dont think any race after this can possibly be worse.
wishing i could turn the clock back and correct my mistakes....